Tone tools create goodwill for skilled leaders – even in war zones.
The body language of leaders’ communication, tone brings a smile of inclusion or adds a snub of rejection. It embodies the warmth of thanks, and also chills your peers with criticism.How so?
Good tone articulates problems with solutions in mind, while poor tone vents about the impossibilities.
Tone turns gunners into givers
Have you seen tone tactics bring a standing ovation of sorts to many different people where you work? It’s the quality crafted by people who welcome nuances, value opposing views, and transform broken systems into innovations at work.
Since human brains rewire for new possibilities each time a person steps in the direction of solutions, that positive tone offers a gateway into multiple possibilities from high-performing minds. It doesn’t always happen though.
Poor tone, on the other hand, tends to marginalize many fine voices, and allows space for far fewer skills, to the detriment of performance.
Bully or builder?
Research is shedding light on why some people tend toward a bully’s tone. Use tone skills to improve mental dividends from wider differences, and bullying loses its grip.
tone brings out multiple intelligences from all workers.
Good tone melds differences
Communicate shared goals and tone fuels possibilities for action. How so?
1. Tone moves people to reflect on growth opportunities, as opposed to blaming others or engaging self-pity.
2. Tone looks beyond cynicism in favor of developing talents to communicate solutions.
3. Tone guides people to learn from opposing views on even the most controversial topics.
4. Tone can change like a chameleon when people face stress, fight exhaustion, or fall ill.
5. Tone turns disagreement into growth opportunities with opponents.
6. Tone is the body language of online communication.
Test your tone in this brief survey
Each item relates to either effective or ineffective tone tactics:
1. Do you speak and feel heard daily?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
2. Do you laugh with fellow workers?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
3. Do you avoid negative people during staff breaks?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
4. Do you refuse to take offense at work?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
5. Do you refrain from pointing out other’s mistakes?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
6. Have you resolved a key conflict at work in the last month?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
7. Do you propose doable solutions to problems you face?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
8. Would fellow workers see you as reflective?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
9. Do you remain calm in stressful situations?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
10. Do you recognize and inspire good tone even if others do not?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
11. Do you prevent stressors from invading your workplace?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
12. Would others say that you value their offerings?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
13. Do you learn from people who disagree with you?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
14. When disagreements arise, do you avoid personal attacks?
a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
15. Do you welcome workers who differ widely from your views? a. Mostly _____
b. About 50% _____
c. About 25% _____
d. rarely _____
Analyze Your Score Below:
Results will show where tone IQ is strongest and suggest where to grow tone skills in communication that work against your diverse assets.
To calculate your score from directions below, simply calculate a. _____ b. _____ c. _____ d. _____ responses scored.
Where will scores likely land in your organization?
More importantly, how will you turn diversity problems into organizational growth – through well developed tone tactics.
What Do Your Tone Skills Say?
What does your tone survey score really mean? And where can you gain new dividends from improved tone?
Scores are valued as follows:
A = 10
B = 8
C = 6
D = 4
With the above values in mind, calculate how many points you have for each.
A = _____
B = _____
C = _____
D = _____
Then add your 15 scores.
A score from 150 to 121 means:
You use highly effective tone skills in most communication areas. Your beliefs and practices often empower excellence in yourself and others. You tend to operate from a well developed intrapersonal intelligence, which means you possess a strong self-worth and a willingness to support other workers. if you scored near the top of this figure – expect higher pay and multiple promotions over time – into positions that allow you to help others with leadership and tone skills for effective communication.
A score from 120 to 91 means:
You use some tone strategies in several communication areas, with reasonable acumen. Your beliefs and practices at times empower strengths in yourself and in others. You tend to operate from a fairly well-developed intrapersonal intelligence, which means you possess adequate self-worth, and sometimes show willingness to support other workers. If you scored near the top of this figure, you could also be in a position to develop leadership and tone skills for adequate communication.
A score from 90 to 61 means:
You occasionally use good tone skills but need to work on ways to develop strengths in yourself and recognize the same in others. Rather than blame others for problems you encounter, this score indicates that you’ll want to reflect more to ratchet up communication skills that tap into talents for successful outcomes, especially when you are prone to feel frustrated or to give up. At this point you are likely to find yourself passed over for the best promotions. Fortunately though, since tone skills are learned, you need not stay at this lower score for long.
A score from 61 and below 61 means:
You likely need a strong support system to help you develop strengths and demonstrate good tone skills. You could be slipping into stress that shuts down communication, and works against the human brain’s ability for good tone. You may wish to start by deliberately showing how you learn from people who disagree, while avoiding negative peers who stay more in problems than others who look for solutions. It’s possible that you’ll want to adjust your daily diet, alter sleep and exercise habits and find ways to decrease cortisol chemicals as well as increase serotonin intake.
A story exists of barbs and flame wars among engineers locked in disjointed communication – tainted the process, stopped listening and stopped learning, as shared by Peter Koestenbaum in his book, Leadership: The Inner Side of Greatness:
‘As engineers, we viewed our lack of teamwork and cooperation as a problem, and engineers are taught that problems have solutions. In the world of construction, they do have solutions: here is the formula, and the structure either stands or falls. But we now understand that thinking of people as if they were objects is fundamentally wrong. We knew that in theory, but we did not understand it in practice. It leads to distortions and ends in failure.
Instead of attempting to go from problem to solution, and then failing, we changed our language. Now we say we have pain, not a problem, and then we talk about the pain. The problem was not the disagreement but how we handled it, how we spoke to each other, and the emotions we allowed to rise within us as a result of improper communication. Now we say, “I feel, I understand,” rather than “You are” and “You believe.” We communicate, we speak, we listen; we try to seethe other person’s point of view. We establish relations. We accept that we feel good or bad about each other. We learn, and the result is that our perception of the problem shifts: the energy has left the problem; the pain has diminished. We cannot explain it, but we like it.
We call that growth. Rather than going from problem to solution, we go from pain through dialogue to growth. We grow as persons, as managers, as executives, as human beings. We treat each other better. We are more willing to make compromises. It is not how we behave that matters, it is the character and maturity of our souls—the heart behind those actions—that come through and are convincing. The bottom line is that productivity has increased significantly, not to speak of the healthier atmosphere around the workplace.
What do you see as a solution to tone problems where you work?
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