How can we seniors practice a growth mindset to communicate better with a difficult friend or opinionated relative? How do we move beyond conflicts when closed minded critics insist on the veracity of their strongly stated fixed mindset? How can we prevent that shutting down of peaceful solutions that require growth mindset approaches?
First let’s recognize that our goal is not to have the final say, change the other person, or win an opinion match over somebody who differs.
Second let’s use silence as a sacred space to step back and see the other person’s view with compassion as we recommit to value and care unconditionally for the person, just as they are. Now we are in the best space possible to engage our growth mindset to advance peace and rethink possibilities without disrespecting or dismissing the other person’s views.
Third, let’s pose a two-footed question to open a new conversation that might help to benefit all concerned in the situation. How so?
Let’s say the person concludes prematurely that “this is the best we can expect” we might ask: “What ideas could be bring together to continue improving it?”
Perhaps the person concludes with a closed minded statement, that “It cannot be done!” we might ask: “What if we take a practice run together to see if there’s another possibility?”
A fixed minded person may conclude with, “I give up!” to which we might ask: “What if together we consider how we might try another way?”
Let’s say the person concludes with a fixed mindset that “this is just too difficult.” We might ask: “What challenges could help us to grow together a new insight for this situation?”
A fixed minded person may decide, “I fear I’ll make a mistake!” to which we might ask: “What lessons would help us to learn better approaches from past mistakes?”
A fixed minded person may conclude with, “I just don’t get it!” to which we might ask: “What would it take to help us to keep learning here?”
Let’s say a fixed minded person insists, “I failed!” to which we might ask: “What would it look like if we refuse to give up and take a chance by trying it again together?”
If we agree that it may be helpful to pose the above questions to extend communication, we’ll also agree that a growth mindset is willing to let go of what cannot be changed in others, and mindfully control what we grow and energize within ourselves. We sidestep concerns about changing the opinions of others, and focus on bringing fixed mindset related problems into growth mindset possibilities that benefit all.
How do we live a Mita Growth Mindset to bounce back after bad breaks and thrive more joyfully in every age?
Dr Ellen Weber‘s Growth Mindset Materials and Publications Below:
Grace Mindset Book – paperback
The Teen’s Growth Mindset Workbook – paperback
Growth Mindset Interactive Materials at TPT