When we act kindly and when we run from cruelty we also tame our brains emotional control center by adding another dose of calm to our amygdala or mental mood center. Our emotions survive after memories vanish because we store these tamed or untamed emotions listed in the chart below with every action that engages them. For example, smile and we store serotonin and space for more smiles. Smirk and we store cortisol and more smirks. No wonder our moods and behaviors sometimes seem so predictable and seem to control some seniors. Years of storing these moods or chosen emotional reactions literally files them in our amygdala storehouse, and reuses them in similar situations.
A senior with a tamed amygdala can expect a daily dose of emotions to the left below. A senior with an untamed amygdala can expect a daily dose of emotions listed to the right below.
Emotions to the left above show a tamed amygdala that comes with a growth or open mindset. Emotions to the right above show an untamed amygdala with a fixed or closed mindset. How then do some seniors tame an amygdala?
What is meant by the expression, “Tame my MYG or stick me sad?” An amygdala’s agitated control center engages brain stem circuits that impact facial expressions and body language. It also triggers release of chemicals such as serotonin or cortisol into the blood, to trigger often unwanted emotional response. It’s even activated by nasty odors on occasion. So why does the human brain come with such a pesky part?
Recently on a walk in the woods with a gifted young leader, I once again saw his ethics, openness and willingness to become vulnerable in order to learn new skills with a growth mindset. Without notice a mountain biker appeared on our winding path and startled my friend’s dog Jack, who in return snapped at the bikers feet. The 20 minutes that followed taught me again about the value of snipping an amygdala before you snipe back like Jack did.
As the biker diminished my friend, it was obvious the man’s favorite spot to walk his dog had suddenly lost its magic. From their daily wonderland – the woods became a dreaded encounter with a biker who indicated he planned to ride there daily, and did not expect to encounter the dog. Did you know that in such cases our amygdala reacts from our stored responses? Yes, its a wheelhouse for filing all the emotional reactions or actions we make.
What’s around our next corner that could hurt, or disappoint, or leave us feeling sad or guilty and in mental ruts for days? Any senior who reaches out to others vulnerably, like my friend does, also opens pathways to cynics who reject, belittle, or ignore you because they disapprove of who we are or what we represent. Sometimes it’s merely a matter of forgiving a guy who ruined our walk with a dog – to regain our good moods.
Holidays can be the worst time for depression and loneliness to spawn and file moods in our untamed amygdala! But it doesn’t have to be this way, if we create space for mindfulness, stress shrinks by default!
Snip Amygdala Before We Snipe Back?
Even today, we might feel the sting of words spoken by a trusted friend, open a card from a family member and find any affection obvious from its absence, or encounter a person we care for who makes fun plans that deliberately exclude us. Each encounter that stings, rejects, criticizes, or diminishes us also locks steel jaws onto our amygdala. Luckily though, jaws that create intense emotional pain, can also become a trigger to snip our amygdala before we snipe back and intensify the damage. How so?
Rather than judge a culprit’s motives, regret our own weaknesses, or focus on deciphering what that person could be saying in meta-messages spoken, simply snip away. Sure, use good tone, and name the problem honestly rather than deny it exists, but then take mental scissors to snip your well being from any tethers to maligning words or thoughtless acts. The snipping leaves us mentally in a place to grow from the experience, or even offer an olive branch in response – rather than in a place of depression.
Refuse to Replay Personal Hurt Narratives
Refuse even to argue with ourselves about the fact that a hurtful person may be trying to improve, and instead snip our amygdala from all actions that add sadness or worry. Remember, it’s not about another person, whom we cannot change. It’s not even about the horrors of a toxic site or place. Instead it’s about replenishing our deep pool of inner wellness, so that you can speak and act with respect even to those who disagree.
Finally focus on alternative activities that offer us challenge, fun or adventure, rather than replay hurtful acts mentally, and increase inner wounds. That divergence offers our brain a gentle place to build new neuron pathways to a healthier you. Through our focus on an activity we value, we’ll also reclaim our sense of wonder about life. We’ll welcome back and refile that fleeing inner joy to replace miseries formerly filed mentally and emotionally!
When we are confronted with a shattering experience, yet remained calm on our own winding roads of adventure like my young friend we know we have made the effort to snip our amygdala. It works!
Let it Go!
We can truly let go – and break from inner pain or confusion to prepare our brain for a confident and courageous response. Yes, even when we confront a bully’s taunt’s or golf a round that disappoints. Have you seen it happen?
Two – Footed Questions to Address Mita Growth Mindset Senior Sessions on MYG
How do we live a Mita Growth Mindset to bounce back after bad breaks and thrive more joyfully in every age?
1). How can we unstick an amygdala and feel free again? For instance, let’s say we find ourselves making dark choices on a dank day. Perhaps we yell at a family member or feel jealous of a friend who brags about their wealth. Whenever we feel down or a day turns dank we can tame an untamed amygdala to uptick our choices and prosper our mood. First ask a question we’d like to answer such as, How could we benefit all concerned in this conflict?” Then walk alone or with a trusted friend in a favorite park or neighborhood to brainstorm an answer that lifts you and others up and solves the problem. Our brain’s benefit from extra oxygen during a walk and that can send us the serotonin we need to bounce back after a tough time. The key is to remain deliberate until we find a solution that returns our sense of hope and joy and helps us to thrive as we move forward with a tamed amygdala even in a difficult situation.
2). What is our amygdala and why should you care?
3). How to tame our amygdala for fun and growth?
4). How do we end up with an untamed amygdala?
5). Why is our amygdala a bit like your stomach?
7). How can we move from an untamed to a tamed MYG?
8). Time to shift from sad smirk to super smile?
9). What does MYG do to help us solve problems?
10). Where is MYG when we cannot find solutions?
11). How long does MYG take to shift into tamed?
12). What are MYG’s untamed emotions?
13). What are MYG’s tamed emotions?
14). How does MYG move us from hate to love?
15). How does MYG rely on our choices and actions?
16). Why do we feel grumpy when a person comes to dinner?
17). What if we always feel sad, or disappointed?
18). How does the smirk to smile shift alter our MYG?
FINAL Question: What’s one activity we can do to remove a fixed mindset and add a growth mindset for this topic.
Dr Ellen Weber‘s Growth Mindset Materials and Publications Below:
Grace Mindset Book – paperback
The Teen’s Growth Mindset Workbook – paperback
Growth Mindset Interactive Materials at TPT