Teens asked 25 key questions that all get addressed in my 2021 Book, The Teens’ Growth Mindset Workbook.
See their awesome inquiries below:
1. My older brother is my parents’ favorite ‘cause he’s smarter and better built than me. My parents often brag about him, and rarely ever say anything good about me. I try not to feel jealous but I wonder if it’ll always be about only my older brother’s best accomplishments?
2. I have a verbally abusive mother who calls me useless and lazy even in front of my sister and friends. One friend tells me she’s wrong, but I still hear my mom’s angry voice, especially in class when I can’t work something out. How do I get past my mother’s mean comments in my head?
3. I love art and I’m a really good artist, but I get really poor grades in other subjects at school no matter how hard I study. My parents think I’m not trying hard enough in other classes and want me to give art up. How can I improve my grades so that they’ll allow me to keep doing what I love?
4. Why do teachers and parents think they’re always right, and teens are usually wrong when problems come up?
5. Why’s my family stalking me? They don’t trust me going out at night with friends. They police my social media all the time. My parents are super strict and they never care how I feel. What can I do to gain their trust?
6. I’m struggling with anxiety. My parents split up, but they are both so preoccupied, I feel like I can’t tell them about my panic problems. Lately, I get nauseated whenever I eat, and I lie awake worrying at night. I also feel bullied by a kid at school who calls me fat. It makes me afraid to get off the bus in the morning. What can I do to stop feeling so anxious all the time?
7. Do you have any advice to motivate me to stay in school? I find pretty much all classes boring and most subjects have little to do with my life or my interests. What can I do?
8. My only good friend talks about me behind my back and mean stuff keeps coming back to me. They recently told everybody about who I have a crush on, and I was mortified. My friend said they was sorry, but then they often repeat my secrets to others in class. What should I do?
9. I’ll be a sophomore soon and I have no idea what I want to do once I get out of high school. Everybody keeps asking me and I feel stupid since my friends all have plans. How can I answer people without feeling embarrassed?
10. I want to be more than friends with someone I hang out with, but they aren’t interested in dating me. How can I keep them as a friend if I can’t get over them?
11. A good friend of mine started drinking and smoking and started demanding that I must join in to remain friends. My parents have no idea that we’ve started to go to parties where I’m pressured to drink and smoke. What can I do?
12. Whenever I get called on the speak or present my work in class, I freeze. Even though I don’t usually stutter, I find myself repeating or missing words, and I can’t think straight. We have a project coming up and I’ll be presenting our topic to class. What will help me stay calm?
13. My parents work really long hours, so I’m home alone often on school nights. Without them around, I spend most of my time playing video games instead of studying. Report cards come soon and will show them I’m failing. I’m in big trouble! How I can get motivated to study more after school?
14. I don’t have any close friends and I feel lonely most of the time. My mom tells me to be a good friend and I will get more friends, but that hasn’t helped. Why do popular kids get all the friends and kids like me mostly get left out?
15. At my chess club last week I made a stupid mistake in front of everybody and now I don’t ever want to go back. What can I do to convince my parents to let me stay home?
16. There’s no way I can cram in everything I have to and still find time to have a social life. My parents and teachers expect too much and there’s too little time. I can’t keep up, and it makes me feel stressed and alone.
17. I cheated on my physics test because I find the formulas too hard to remember. So I wrote the top ten formulas on my hand, and I passed. The problem is, I can’t help but feel guilty, afraid, and embarrassed for cheating. What can I do?
18. As immigrants my family’s different, and kids make fun of me that I’m not smart because I don’t know their traditions. It’s unfair that teen get the reputation of being dumb just because they don’t understand a new culture. My parents say, “Different is good,” and “Teasing is temporary..” But I worry that our immigration status also makes them feel sad, since they keep pressuring me to invite classmates over, and ask if I’m ashamed of them.
19. I fell down just as I was about to pass the puck for a sure goal. Now everybody’s blaming me for our loss, because I am the only girl on the team. So I want to quit ‘cause it sucks that I ruined everybody’s day. I really love hockey, but now I can’t stand the idea of being a girl who lost a game for the team again.
20. I love to sing and want to try out for the school musical. The problem is, nobody knows I sing and I’m afraid they’ll think I’m no good or laugh at me.
21. My longtime friend and neighbor often stresses me out because it feels like he’s trying to replace my close school friends. What can I tell him?
22. I find it hard to remember stuff from class and get embarrassed during reviews if I get called on. How can I remember more facts I learn?
23. People often tease me because of my weight. Changing my diet hasn’t worked, so I started to work out all the time, too. I’m worried that it’s all getting out of hand, but I’m not sure how to stop. I’m scared to tell my parents and don’t have anyone to talk to. What should I do?
24. A week ago my parents freaked out after a parent-teacher interview. They agreed with teachers that I rarely finish stuff I start. How can I tell them it’s not my fault that I can’t seem to focus on one thing long enough to finish it?
25. I am really excited to start things, and I always organize and work hard to learn. But before long, I seem to run into problems that make me give up on passion I had for attaining a goal. My latest dream was skating well, but all my friends in our lessons can skate way better than me, and I want to quit, just like my parents tell me I always give up too soon. What can I do?
In addition see ~
Additional questions to address that alter the chemistry of our brain
1. How does joy or misery alter our brain’s chemistry and impact our outcomes?
2. When does criticism shut down brains and how can its alternative prosper progress?
3. What does brain facts offer to benefit philanthropists?
4. What mindset determines mastery or misery?
5. Where does stress lead us and how can it be controlled on a busy day?
6. What can a lived experience of grace do to alter brains in a toxic setting?
7. Is there a brain based way to openly practice faith and grace in ways that benefit all and attempt to convert none?
8. Can our mindset carry us beyond grief to look at a dark sky and see bright sparkling stars?
9. Does memory loss come from age or from habits?
10.Risk adventure or suffer angst in ways that cancel the other?
11.Can we live healthier habits in fun ways that alter our brain’s chemistry?
12.Why does life-changing mentoring takes a mind-shift?
13.What newly discovered parts of our brains impact or alter our mindsets?
14. How do we creatively alter negative mindsets?
15.How do we encourage ourselves and others to take change of the future?
16. How does or mindset propel or prevent learning and growth?
-Open-minded thinking
-Tackle problems with possibilities
-Use mistakes as stepping stones
-Fueled by cortisol or serotonin
-Opposite growth mindset is fixed mindset
17. Why ask, HOW ARE WE SMART? not how smart are we?
-We each have 8 intelligences
-IQ is fluid and not fixed
-We grow all or some intelligences daily
-We measure growth by outcomes
-Working memory or basil ganglia – not both
18. How does our soul improve life-long learning & growth?
– We access & awaken grace in our Intrapersonal IQ
– Grace adds unconditional love for an eternity
– Not an absence of suffering but a presence of awe
– Lifts us from scarcity to flourish and thrive
– Plasticity or amygdala
– Opposite grace mindset lies a cynical mindset
19. Should we welcome namungos (fictitious characters with real brain parts) to better balance mind and emotions?
-BAS (for basal ganglia) stores our habits, ruts, and routines
-SERO (for serotonin) fuels wellbeing and kindness, even under pressure
-WM (for working memory) holds new facts temporarily while we use them
-PLAS (for plasticity) changes our brains shape and functions
-CORT (for cortisol) raises stress and shuts down minds and emotions
-MYG (for amygdala) clings to moods storing both good and bad reaction
20. Can we do one thing differently because of something heard tonight?
-Pair share or with me at ewebermita@gmail.com
21. What’s so difficult about changing a cynical mindset into a kinder one?
-How new neural connections work.
-Our cynical brains will rewire in REM sleep
-Plasticity – change and choice
-Fake it till you make it (with grace)
-Kindness starts with ourselves
22. Your questions …?
See further facts here on my August 29th Brainleadersandlearners.com Blog titled – MINDSET MATTERS SERIES QUESTIONS 1 TO 5
All ideas here come from 50 years of research and are addressed in Ellen Weber’s recent books in 2021 – 2022:
1. The Teens Growth Mindset Workbook – Embrace Challenges, Build Resilience, and Achieve Your Goals
2. Access our Grace Mindset – Awaken Loving-Kindness, Empathy, Healing and Hope
3. Leader Discussion Guide to Access our Grace Mindset
The audiobook Access-Our-Grace-Mindset-Awaken-Loving-Kindness-Empathy-Healing-and-Hope has just been published on many new platforms below!
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