Where is the Love?

      Comments Off on Where is the Love?

A grace mindset engages agape love combined with working memory to help us heal in broken or conflicted situations. How so?

We share sentiments with Whitney Houston’s hope-filled tunes such as, “I will always love you,” yet we sink often into Adam Sturgeon’s regrets sung in, Long Braided Hair  words, “I can’t believe in society when nothing is filled with love”. We long for unconditional love to improve our lives and help others, so why settle for less love?  Is it possible that only when we experience affection with stick-ability can we drink in its magical potions and pass agape’s kindness along to others?

The Greeks offer us four words for love: Eros or romantic affections; Phileo or unique fondness from fun friendships and close relationships; Storge or familial, natural love packed into family fidelity and camaraderie we enjoy with children, grandchildren, siblings, parents and grandparents, and; Agape or perfect, unconditional and undying love lies rooted in God’s deepest desire over us. Agape’s energy-building affection flows from God’s infinite perfection, unhindered by our failures. It’s love as supreme force for good, wrapped in affection that comes free to us at an unbelievable cost to its Giver! Agape affection surpasses our craving for kindness, patience, forgiveness, hope, endurance, belief we can trust in, contentment, gentleness, and an eternal sense of worth and belonging that adds wonder in our daily experiences and for an eternity.  

Unlike loveless tunes and cruel realities stored and replayed in our brain’s basal ganglia, our working memory offers a refreshing open access into agape’s finer love experiences that can enhance our lives daily. Our brain’s thimble sized mental capacity for new directions enables us to reach beyond ruts we stand in at any moment, and run with new zip over past barriers that tend to trip us.   

Regardless of age, situation or background, our brains come equipped to propel love to new heights. Tap into mental tools, such as working memory, and we find ourselves letting go of robotic routines in favor of desired new directions.

Not surprisingly, we often discover doable ways to access agape love in enjoyable and fun moments that open us into possibilities rather than focus on problems. Agape love reminds us personal value and worth, beyond our current capabilities, and because of undying, divine love. For me, it takes stepping out of basal ganglia comfort zones for the purpose of learning something completely new. Easy? Not usually.

In spite of stalls and setbacks, for instance, I set aside time daily to learn piano to play some of my favorite hymns. For me, agape love engages working memory and risks moving away from frustrating challenges of playing piano for the first time, toward my goal of talented and transformational playing.

In addition to piano I joined a bowling team recently. Rather than say with Charlie Brown, “The only reason the team let me join was so their top 2/3 can feel good about themselves,” I now see bowling as another way to enjoy and care about others as I learn a few bowling skills to keep balls out of the gutter. Slowly, it get easier to hit a pin or two along the way.

Our working memory positions agape love facts up front, so other parts of the brain can use these facts as tools to act kindly toward ourselves and others. It’s a bit like a sticky note on our brain. Working memory holds new agape love remedies, insights, possibilities or data in a temporary grip so we can craft and reshape a better pathway forward. See any implications for our broken world?

Neglect working memory and we also miss new splashes of transformational love to improve our situation. This mental problem-solving equipment not only increases and refines focus on fun, it also offers us new ready-to-use facts we need most whenever stress stalks us. You may have heard the research that warns us of at least 22 stressors daily that come our way. Our elixir?

Good news, we hone mental skills for personal wellbeing each time we use working memory to step beyond comfort and embrace novelty. Don’t be deceived by its small size though. Although our working memory offers us only one data bit at a time, its mental capacity holds vital facts we can weave into life-changing solutions for complex problems.

We used WM one of six namungos or fiction characters with real brain parts, to illustrate how we use and grow brainpower and wellbeing by engaging working memory more deliberately. Practical examples shared inspired us all! Your response?

What was one moment when God’s amazing love seemed custom-made for you? When did you last attempt to learn a new skill and what was that experience like? We discussed these two questions at Edmonton’s Chianti restaurant where we hold grace-mindset dialogue dinners on the last Wednesday of each month from 5:30 to 7:30 PM. The groups’ lived experiences bring together amazing grace and new neural discoveries, both as forceful tools to navigate daily challenges in our current era.

YOUR TURN! Join our Brain Based Circles! Would love to meet you at any of the following!

Brain Leaders and Learners Blog
Mita Brain Center Facebook
efweber on Pinterest
@ellenfweber on Twitter
ellenfweber on Instagram
Ellen Weber on Google+
Ellen Weber on LinkedIn

Created by Ellen Weber, Brain Based Tasks for Growth Mindset