Words that Convert Conflict into Care

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No wonder we thank others for a kind response and we value the kind of friends who toss enormously generous suggestions into the ring, on any topic! But have you ever considered one key skill that converts conflict into care in a conversation? Think about your last online discussion where conflict popped up out of nowhere. Did kindness act as a reminder there that we move past the sting of daily let-downs when we consider a few nods of approval to inner intentions of ourselves and others?

Studies actually bear out why words either move us forward or hold us back mentally! How thoughtful words transform conflict into caring insights to trigger deeper discourse on many sides. Have you seen it?

Few online encounters compare to a thread where we learn from opposite angles of hot topics from words that become a golden conduit to life-changing takeaways in tough situations. Why are such threads so rare at times?

We’ve all hit “send” on raw disputes that may illustrate our own inner angst. In particularly vulnerable moments we may even choose fictitious names to disguise cruel barbs we weaponize against another. Perhaps a topic hits a soft spot. Or maybe we’re reacting from a similar shock of a raw nerve as if a dental-like-drill hit us suddenly and without anesthetic. Have words left you leaping back like an electrical jolt?

Those raw words we bump up against occasionally can also nudge us to make smarter choices that trigger a similar delight to our mental reward center. It’s much like crack cocaine enchants users before bitter side effects take hold. An affirmative inner nod, past a sea of anger, can literally adjust our molecular switch to turn on encouraging chemical reactions.

Consider a stimulus, such as visualizing a kind response, even to a cranky stranger. That care-packed reply prompts a neuron in the brain’s amygdala, or seat of our emotional responses. There, even a few kind words can awaken a natural opioid that comes with conflict-converting wonders from our personal pharmaceuticals. Not that it’s easy at times, you’ll likely agree.

Yet studies increasingly affirm key connections between our growth mindset triggers such as a kind response and our mental wellness.

Thoughtful words in response to a controversial online discussion show us how ideas on any topic can reshape our mindset with natural aha drugs such as serotonin.

The sheer animated superpower of kind words still fascinate me after a lifetime of research on the brain’s capabilities. It’s why I published several books such as Mita in the Classroom and Beyond, with Pearson Publisher and others over the past 40 years.

Who would deny that the opposite of mental wellness is stress and anxiety we feel when we lash back simply because we disagree, by stimulating toxic chemicals such as cortisol? Research affirms that this unhealthy mental narcotic with its compelling urges can put health, and even our lives in danger. How so?

Toxic inner drugs, awakened by negative words that attack, place us into a vicious cycle of craving contentment while at the same time awakening its opposites.

When disappointed or if we feel diminished, inspiration tends to elude us at first, much like an ice cream melts away under a noonday sun. Encouraging words from a respected friend simply speed up the brain’s serotonin boost and help us shift directions faster into a cooler mindset that enables refreshing new perspectives. Count me in, and with a grateful heart.

Buckets of serotonin over our words and our day! How will you create a stress-free zone where you live?

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Created by Ellen Weber, Brain Based Tasks for Growth Mindset