Have you wondered why some organizational or political leaders appear incapable of leading across differences? Why do demands for partisan preferences or emphasis on personal gain tend to supersede leading ethics and non-partisan benefits that would improve life for those we lead?
The answer to this pervasive leadership problem is found in two intelligences ignored in educational or professional training curriculum.
Few disagree that we engage diversity with kindness when we show care, based on compassion and concern for others rather than reliant on ego or personal greed. Not surprisingly, the two missing skills in our curriculum both require personal acumen not taught in current educational or professional training sessions. Each include multiple intelligence strengths, which we now know are fluid not fixed. For instance these skills grow and develop when used in safe, yet challenging settings. See why civility is uncommon in public places?
We value and engage those who differ, by using interpersonal IQ that includes the practical capability and skills to discern and respond appropriately to moods, temperaments, motivations and desires of other people. Interpersonal skills include facilitating strengths of others who differ, to reach common targets beyond those differences. We learn to water seeds, while ignoring thorns. Kindness carries our superpower. We offer care and concern to enemies, while cultivating closer friends.
Intrapersonal IQ starts with being kind to ourselves as a way to build inner strength, confidence, self-knowledge, access to personal feelings, and an inner ability to discriminate among personal strengths to direct behavior.
Leaders strong in their two personal IQ domains, tend to:
- stay calm in conflict
- look ahead more through windshields, only glancing back in side mirrors
- listen to learn and affirm commonalities
- water seeds and ignore thorns
- affirm possibilities
- tackle problems not people
- run from blame
- state their case respectfully
Where then do we start to grow these interpersonal and intrapersonal leadership skills that heal divisions and cultivate strengths across differences?
We focus first on personal care and interpersonal kindness we want others to see in us. That mental reboot sets up leaders and the rest of us to spot and tackle problems by proposing possibilities alongside diverse people we inspire to do the same.
Looking for proven tasks to practice and develop these intrapersonal and interpersonal skills to lead others without causing unnecessary chaos or disruptions?
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Created by Ellen Weber, Brain Based Tasks for Growth Mindset